Stop Chasing the High
Why chasing “Feel Good” is making You feel worse.
Dopamine is a valuable part of our "happy hormone" bundle which includes serotonin, oxytocin, endorphins, and, of course, dopamine. Dopamine is a primary chemical messenger in the brain’s REWARD and MOTIVATION system.
Many associate dopamine with pleasure. However, it's less about pleasure and more about anticipation, drive, and reinforcement.
In nature, dopamine is earned and comes from effort, challenge, presence, and growth. It builds slowly and is sustained over time. I call this QUALITY dopamine.
A few examples include: completing a challenging workout, learning a new skill, setting and following through on a goal, meaningful conversation or connection, cold exposure, service, purpose-driven work or helping others, etc.
Quality dopamine rises gradually, increasing your baseline over time, and there is no crash associated with it. It strengthens your motivation and increases your confidence and self-trust. This is how you build resilience, discipline, and self-respect.
Unfortunately (in my opinion), the modern age has brought along with it, what I call, CHEAP dopamine. This is dopamine WITHOUT effort. The brain gets the reward without earning it which trains it to want more, faster, and easier next time.
Examples of cheap dopamine include: doom-scrolling social media, binge watching shows, sugar and ultra-processed foods, online shopping or impulse buying, drugs and alcohol, video games, etc.
Cheap dopamine spikes quickly, is short-lived, and is followed by a crash BELOW baseline -- which doesn't feel good at all. This causes motivation to drop while increasing cravings. You'll need more stimulation to feel the same level of "good." This cycle leans toward compulsive and addictive behavior.
This is why you feel burnt out, unmotivated, and numb despite chasing "feel good" moments all day.
Recently, I've been paying close attention to when I crave cheap dopamine hits and what's triggering it.
I found that I am driven towards cheap dopamine fixes when I'm "not okay." Whether I'm overstressed, in a sleep deficit, or feel "off" or unhappy for any reason. Basically, I don't feel good and want a quick, easy way to feel better again.
These days, my go-to cheap dopamine fix is food. My mind sees food as a comfort (which is a story, I believe, came from my childhood). However, I've noticed that it's actually quite the opposite, and it's taken A LONG time to accept this.
For me, the "comfort" ends as soon as the last bite is swallowed. This comfort food usually results in a massive amount of inflammation which sends my mental health and nervous system into a downward spiral.
Can you see how this cycle will repeat itself? I then feel crappy, so I seek comfort once again in food. I'm happy in the moment and almost immediately feel even shittier. This will repeat itself until I'm in such physical pain that I can't fathom taking another bite of food.
So, for me, it's been about reframing food. When my mind is saying, "I want pizza." I ask, "Why?" I realize it's because I'm stressed. I then say to myself, "Food is not comfort. It is actually just more stress." Then, I choose something better to do, like go to the gym or call a friend.
If my mind is REALLY stuck on food (which it tends to be), I will compromise with it. Instead of pizza for dinner, I'll have roasted sweet potatoes. My rule is usually that if it's a whole, real vegetable, I can have whatever I want. This usually makes my mind happy enough to move on from that trigger AND I don't feel like shit afterwards.
Most of you probably don't know that I've struggled with substance abuse. I started noticing a pattern. I craved these substances when I wanted to escape from real life. Just like food, I became aware a while ago that those "escapes" only made real life even more difficult.
If it's easier for you, you may choose to look at these cheap dopamine sources all as escapes. Whether you crave food, drugs, alcohol, social media, or binge watching shows, you're just trying to escape whatever you're currently feeling.
I challenge you to instead identify exactly what it is that you're feeling and why, and tell yourself that it's OKAY to feel this way. It is just temporary. How you handle the situation right now will dictate how good or bad you will feel in the short and long run.
Do you want to feel confident and resilient? Or do you prefer burnt out and numb?
Stop running. Start feeling. Choose better for yourself. Increase quality dopamine and limit cheap hits.
This is a practice of self-love and it gets easier with time, I promise.
Stand tall,
Tracey